A SAND TRAIL
I was building up a trail, from bridges, tunnels, and roads, made from sand, decorated with pebbles, leaves, and flowers. It was placed in the courtyard, somewhere between the flower garden and the garage. It took me a couple of hours to make the sand stay in place and till each decoration was completed. I do not remember if the wind withered away from the sand and the flowers, or maybe a summer storm. Was it worthwhile the effort? Was it sturdy enough? At that time, while I was about five years old, I did not ask myself if it will last, nor if it matters if it lasts. Much later it occurred to me to ask myself if the universe acknowledges our existence and our dedicated effort? Yet, the impulse and interest for creating temporary constructions from natural materials stayed with me for quite some time.
After more than twenty years, while I was completing my graduate studies at the Jan van Eyck Academy, in the Netherlands, I used to place small objects on the wall, next to each other, as a catalyst for a creative moment. Their likely or unlikely juxtaposition was always a reason for reflection, contemplation, or, sometimes, creation of an image, space intervention or installation. One of my professors asked me one day why do I do such ephemeral artistic gestures? She suggested I leave somewhere a permanent trace. I did not do it. Her questioning though has stayed with me quite a long time.
The answer structured by itself along many years of searching and journeying. Yet, its source has been connected with the childhood sand-play, embodying the solitude moments spent in the garden.
When, after about thirty years, I was listening to, or reading about, the idea that all things are impermanent - usually in a Buddhist context - it felt so familiar like I would have all along known it and, those moments of finding out about it were just reasons for remembering the power of that truth.
Still, this feels just like a part of an image that I cannot see fully, or whose meaning is still elusive, escaping my mind's power of grasping it.
Now, I am reflecting back on those moments of change that allowed me some insight into the meaning of change and impermanence, as well as on the sources, resources, or people who helped me to gain some insight. Books, authors, people, or just ideas and concepts, have created a context where my works settled for a while, following the invisible thread that I am making somewhat visible in order to share it with you, the reader.
